Episode 51

Narcissists Were a Conduit for Spiritual Growth | Signs You Are Going Through a Spiritual Awakening

Published on: 26th May, 2022
"The reason you are with a narcissist because there is a wound that needs to come to the surface to be healed." - Natasha Von Salza

Spiritually heal from childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse with inner child love and astrology.

Today I share a conversation with Natasha Von Salza

Instagram: @true_north_transformation

Guest Bio Natasha Von Salza is A WOUNDED HEALER. She has PICKED UP TOOLS, SUPPORT AND AID TO HELP THE COLLECTIVE ANCHOR THE ENERGIES OF THE NEW EARTH WHERE LIMITILESS CAPABILITIES AWAIT. I AM HERE TO BRING HEAVEN TO EARTH THROUGH MY EMBODIMENT OF THE DIVINE/GOD.

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Transcript

Natasha VonSalza Signs You are going Through a Spiritual Awakening | Narcissists are in your life to show you where you need to grow

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Welcome back to the Empath and the narcissist podcast. The mission of this podcast is to bring you education, inspiration, and empowerment. Through relatable conversations. Empowering information. And self-healing practices.

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And I love that we're going to dive a little bit deeper into some astrological perspective on this, which has really opened my eyes and given me so much clarity on all the things that I get stuck on and the patterns like have you ever asked her. Why does this keep happening while she's going to help us answer those questions?

Obviously not specifically yours. Cause you have to go to your chart for that, but I'm so excited to dive into this today. Welcome Natasha. Thank you for being here.

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Maybe can you relate to us? Have you experienced the narcissist and share with us if you can. That's.

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hy, because this was probably:

I kind of have to like, think about it, but it was for sure. Um, so just going back and sort of proof

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So yeah, it definitely, if you're empathic, there's definitely gotta be a relationship of narcissism.

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those who are like the most [:

I can totally pull the wool over her eyes. Like this won't be hard work. Right.

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And to see that like, yes, you've learned from this, and this is maybe what your path was supposed to be. Like, I kind of had to go on that adventure in order to really truly see the red flags. Like after that relationship, it was like red flag. Okay. Never again. And so, you know, I always told my mom, I was just so thankful that I wasn't like 30 and pregnant.

Realized it, like, I got lucky in that situation, um, to kind of get through it as a young person and then I was kind of over it and I, I moved on and stuff, but yeah, it's definitely like a vibrational. I kind of see it as like an attachment, um, trauma, uh, if you, if you're into that a little bit, and it's kind of like fitting puzzle pieces, it's kind of work where you're leaking.

They're going to like. In, and then you kind of, that's what you got to deal with.

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And typically you attract the opposite to kind of complete you as the kind of term complete you, but in a healthy sense, it's a good way. Cause we're all pieces of the puzzle, but in the unhealthy sense, the person who's really lacking and needs that attachment can leech on. Yeah. And complete, complete UNM in a bad toxic.

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You don't want to keep going over in a loop. Cause that's a loop. That's not healing consciousness loop. If you're always finding the same people over and over and over again, it's certainly there. Um, there's something there that needs to be healed and you're not looking at it.

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Why does this keep happening to me when you need to reverse and be like, what? Within me keeps attracting this to be able to heal and be whole versus playing the victim and going, wait, I'm just like this innocent bystander and all these narcissists are coming to me. Like it's easy to fall into that mindset.

And I personally have, but you have to do the hard work and look inside. Right. So how can we wait, wait, I want to ask you, how can we look inside? And maybe this may relate to my second question. How did you, um, awaken or be able to leave your narcissistic relationship?

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It was about a year, year and a half, two years is quite a bit, it got quite abusive. And luckily I was able to kind of get out. I dunno, I felt a little bit naive. Um, definitely for sure. Uh, and I didn't have the tools at all that I have now. Um, That probably would have gotten me out maybe faster or would have been able to see a little bit clearer.

hat was your first question? [:

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I have to go back into my thought process too. I was like, shoot, I lost my first question already. Um, too bad. I can't like rewind, rewind. What did I just say? It was something to the fact of, um, the wholeness, right? Like the, the leaking we're talking about sink things, leaking, finding the patterns of why is this keep happening to me?

So how can we, my awakening? Yeah. Like what are, what are tools or like some practical things that we can maybe see or observe to be able to yeah. See the, recognize the patterns to work on our.

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And I started to see the red flags. So that was number one, like just being, um, going within and being like, Ooh, I didn't like this. About that. I, you know, I didn't analyze it. I didn't know what I was doing. I was just like, I never want that again. So kind of being repelled by it and sort of understanding maybe how I got into it.

What was there, um, and sort of just like going over, maybe how I was in this really. Which helped me to see the red flags. And so then I would make sure that the next person I was dating, they didn't show too many red flags that I could see. Of course I was still very young. So those things tend not to come out, um, super quickly.

But, um, yeah, so just the red flags, that was the biggest one there. And then as I progressed, As I got older, I just kind of always wanted to know more psychologically. I've always been interested in challenging challenges and things like that. And so, um, my awakening was just sort of like, Ooh, that sounds fun.

and how like, oh, negative. [:

And so that really got to me that like took my ego down and I would get so upset when I was negative and I would get so, um, I felt like retraumatized, I was like a DoubleTree. Like I was feeling traumatized from whatever my past was. And then I was like, I can't be negative. And then I would like retraumatize myself.

And so that's actually what started me on this, um, trauma informed and coaching, uh, awakening. And so, um, yeah, just recognizing that we all suffer from trauma as humans. If you're human and you have a pulse, unfortunately we've all dealt. It could be sort of, um, and it's all in a spectrum, right? There's more or less, it's never right or wrong.

It's just more or less, um, trauma that you've come across. And also your resilience. Some people are more resilient than others. So it also depends on the person. Um, And so, yeah, just analyzing the trauma and coming to terms that like, okay, I trauma and I have to deal with this and then I can get to that like spiritual awakening, um, is what I kind of came up with.

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Like you said, suffering and joy are intertwined in the human experience. So. You're not manifesting. I also follow the Stoics now, which I love because I, I debt. I also ended up down that kind of dark, spiritual rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. And the, my husband was like hitting his head on the wall. I was like, oh my gosh, this woman.

. And I love stoicism. Cause [:

But what am I going to do? If it does, and being prepared, that's not like manifesting negativity. That is being prepared because negative shit is going to happen in life. It's just part of it. So if you're always, you know, shaming yourself and putting your, you burying your head in the sand and continuing to keep your rose colored glasses on all the time, then it's just not going to end well for you because you're going to get slapped in the face with some real trauma

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And it's exactly what we were talking about before, where that'll just keep looping, like you're basically repressing all the stuff that needs to come up to be healed. Like the reason you're with a narcissist is because there's a woman that is there. It needs to be co it needs to come to the surface. It needs to be shown the light.

It needs to be shown love. And if you're saying, oh, I can't be negative and I just need to press it down. You're you're just repressing it. And then it's going to come out in something. Somewhere else it's like that, um, that toy that you kind of squeeze and it squeezes out the bottom and then used to be when it comes out the other, like it's gonna come out somewhere.

And so you might as well become aware of it and get on top of it and actually go through your healing with a little bit of joy. It's a little suffering, but you can have joy in, in the suffering, um, when you're really aware of what's happening.

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I'm going to. Die because I'm, you know, bringing up these deep, dark skeletons in the closet or I'll be shamed and never talked to by my family forever. And he's like, when you release all those fears, You do actually kind of enjoy the process with some curiosity. You're like, Ooh, I wonder what, what else is in my closet?

Like once you kind of get used to it, you're like, this feels really good.

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The thing was, was also, I hated the parts of myself that were in part were empathic. And so I was trying to push those away so hard and I was like, I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be like this. And so that created a lot of suffering as well, instead of just accepting, like, okay, like I'm Catholic for whatever reason.

However, it happened. That's what I am and to embrace it and to accept it really kind of let you sink into it. And now I find join it. Now it's like, Ooh, that's my gift. Like, I'm really good at this.

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There are tools that help you balance it. So,

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And so you have to love that human. So, so much, even when she makes mistakes and she's like really hard on herself, you just have to love her because although you're not technically human and your soul is bigger than this, like you're here for it. And that's the whole point. And so, um, it's all about balance.

d like coaching that part of [:

And then other times you're like, okay, like, you're safe. Like I love you. You're here. Like I'm okay. And then also just being like, I am magic, like. I, you know, I could do whatever I wanted and I'm empowered.

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Yeah. And if you haven't cleared it, you know, the universe and or life and energy magnet, magnetism will present to you. Another scenario that they'll keep kind of monkey on the head, like, hello, you still need to deal with this.

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There's. Certain lessons that your soul is here to learn and it could be over lifetime. So if you learn a specific, um, the specific lesson that your soul really wants to learn, and you finally say like, okay, like I've learned this lesson that, that attraction no longer comes into your perception, but it might, it might have, this might be your 600.

Uh, lifetime, if you believe in that, you don't have to it's up to you, but this might be your 600 time and you finally finally learn it. And then you break it's called breaking karma. And so that's when you're able to, um, grow into something else and to attract the people that you actually really are wanting.

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So in the spirit world, and us are all intertwined, even though we may not see them, you know, physically as dense here. Um, I always feel those guys around me.

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You kind of want to like, take a look back and be like, okay, Like, it's not that big of a deal, you know, you can kind of, um, it just gives you a step a second to step back and be like, okay, like my soul, this is what my soul wants. And like, I don't have to get so critical and all the details and really just letting go of that.

And I think, um, you know, it's basically an earth first game. We're here to play a game and of course it's important, but you know, you can kind of have some fun and play with it. Yeah. Yeah,

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You know, there's a lesson there. So if you can stop being pulled into the anger cycle, I think the anger is important. To stop touching the hot stove. Right? You need to have the anger to kick, to give you that separation. But then now once you're really like solidly separated, is it really helpful to hold on to the anger?

that because I'm like, feels [:

And the anger I think is what is tricky. Right? You keep still hitting the patterns cause that's not what your soul wants to evolve into that.

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Like, you know, there'd be a lot less tragedy in the world. If women were taught how to have righteous anger correctly. And so, and I think also this might help with those who might be in the freeze, um, free survival mode. You actually need that anger to move the energy. You're, you're basically suppressing that anger and you kind of have to bring that anger to the front and obviously not towards anyone and never at yourself ever.

It should always be directed out. Um, Uh, to bring that up to you in order to move out of that. Cause when I was, um, narcissism and the trauma that I've experienced and I definitely went into the freeze state and so I've really had to move a lot of anger. Um, not at anyone, just, just the fear of just the sheer anger I just had to just

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Anger. There's fire the element. And when you're in that free state, your name. So you have to ignite the fire to get something, to change, to transmute, to move.

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Um, I [:

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Yes. But you should have that righteous anger and not apologize for what they did was wrong and then never taking the responsibility.

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And to know that you're not, if, if you need to leave or you need to walk away that you're able to do that as.

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And then I remember you saying just a little bit ago. Like having holding yourself and loving yourself. Um, would you describe that as part of the inner child healing journey? How do you

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inner child, because you got [:

Um, this was a conscious of course, as children, but it is what it is and that's what happened. And so we have to come back into that regulation and the nervous system, and that is through the nervous, uh, through the inner child.

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And they were very authoritarian, uh, very patriarchal by these male doctors. And they weren't conscious at all of thinking about teaching children, autonomy, being able to regulate their emotions and all that. Pretty much, all of us have had some type of emotional dysregulation in our nervous system growing up because it wasn't handled properly.

Or we weren't given space to hold ourselves, understand what we were going to.

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Yeah, it's very controversial. But I, you know, for me, it's child abuse. Like you can't just leave a child to cry it out. That's there. Literally that's what they're doing is regulating their system. They're learning how to, um, have safety in the body and to know that someone is always there for them, because all of that comes back to you when you're an adult no longer at home.

to PE like that's a lot with [:

And so a narcissist who is like, love bombing you. I was like, oh my God. I was like, this is the greatest thing ever. And then, and the chaos that ensued after was still like, well, this is normal.

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They were just doing the best they could with what they had. And they were in trauma. Like they had generational trauma and I

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ou're dealing with all this, [:

And the stress from leaving the nurses is to relationship doing it every day is just so.

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think it's just coming up to:

You can just simply let it go. Um, and that's all about nervous system regulation. And if you equate your nervous system regulation with your inner child, it will be set.

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of traumatizing area in our [:

Um, like I said, again, it's sort of the chicken and the egg, like, is it that you were your, your soul asked for this? And so therefore you chose the parents that would give you that, or, you know, right. Um, I think. From the fact that you chosen, you want it to be empathic in this lifetime. You wanted that gift.

And so you did choose the parents, um, and sort of the trauma that went along with that. Of course that's not okay. And you don't want to like, love that program, but you certainly want to acknowledge it. Um, I see Virgo, Virgo and six house. Um, Yeah, Virgo that, and then the sixth house and, um, Gemini and Gemini and Libras, I think they tend to have that, like people pleasing.

They tend to have that. Um, uh,

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Um, and so I, I can see it in the chart for most people. Um, and then I think it's also just what you, the purpose, like for me, I'm a facilitator, so. I can feel your emotion, which is the guests. Cause I can say, okay, look, I'm feeling this or I can sort of confront the truth. If someone doesn't want to tell me the truth, I can be like, well, what you're saying and how you feel is not congruent.

And so let's talk about it. Um, and so that's kind of how I use the chart. Um, and so you said you were a Virgo. Did you say you were a son?

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So that makes

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I just remember going, Ooh, this is an interesting planet to be in Scorpio related to my sister. Cause I have issues with my sister.

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So that might be something also, you guys might've done something to each other and past lifetimes.

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I don't know. We're not really successful this, this life around, but we got time.

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that stuff behind eventually.[:

Yeah. So it makes a lot of sense. Um, Yeah. And I have, um, I have an Aries moon, or, I mean, sorry, an area's sun. And so it's right across from my moon. And so that is all about, um, mirrors using other people's as mirrors and, um, sort of wanting people to tell me who I am, which of course gives that. Um, and that all of that energy, a lot of energy.

Cause then I was like, please tell me who I am. Oh, you think that's what I am. Okay. That's great. And then I never learned to stand up for myself

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And so that's like that relationship that I really a really healthy relationship and the container, and I really love. Relationships, but they're definitely, definitely hard

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And in order to do that, you have to wipe away or to release all that. Uh, in the way, so limiting beliefs, um, programs that are yours that were programmed by the culture, um, and that takes a lot of time and energy and effort, but it's definitely worth it.

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Um, [:

So I'm like, dang it, family. So that, that, I guess that means I need to just say Sianora to them and then if they want to come along, then they come along. I'm not sure I'm always grappling with.

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And it's definitely, um, it's also sort of like, it's the truth seeker, which makes a lot of sense cause you're looking for the truth and

no

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Yeah, it's a huge lesson on healing on the spiritual healing. I girl, I, with you, I tried to take every single person I know with me and they are like, no, Natasha, you, I know. And I'm like, okay, okay. Well come with me. And that's the lesson. I mean, that's hard. You have to kind of leave your family behind knowing that you're doing good for them.

That's what you're healing. It you're healing the generational curses. And you're willing to look at the stuff that they're not willing to face. And that's what is ultimately going to heal that the generations,

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, she did counseling with my [:

Exactly.

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Um, how do I accept who they are while also protecting me and my boundaries and my will? And it's hard. It's definitely something that took me months. I couldn't, I stopped speaking to my mom for a month and a half because I literally didn't know. I was like, you're not healthy, but I don't know how to talk to you.

So we're just having to talk. Um, but as I'm slowly learning and I'm sure you are too. Um, you'll learn to speak to them in a way that either they're going to hear it, or you're going to realize like, oh, it's not worth, worth the trouble.

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Yeah. Yeah. I that's, you're spot on with the description of the lessons that I have been learning and revealing and coming to peace with like even just around holidays. I guess that's really important to me. I have a, stellium also in the fourth house, so like holidays and family things. I'm mourning the past, the euphoric times when I was a kid, when we had holidays, but for me moving forward right into this non, you know, structured Christian religious realm of holidays, I get to make my own, you know, uh, traditions.

nd kind of letting go of the [:

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What no longer serves us and no longer works for humanity. And you know, those types of holidays, they tend. Sometimes they fall in certain, in wrong areas. Um, and they kind of hinder the human experience. Uh, I can say a little bit about Christmas. I'll put this little tidbit in, you might agree or not, but, um, there's a.

You can read tropical, which is based off of, um, it's just a Gregorian calendar. So like we know, okay. Spring is March 21st, blah, blah, blah. But there's also one that is called sidereal. And that's a little bit Eastern where it's read through the. Through the, um, the sun. So the sun is in the actual constellation.

And so during Christmas time, we're actually in the constellation of Sagittarius and Sagittarius is a truth seeker. It's, it's the spiritual, it's the religion it's understanding. True. Um, you know, uh, godly. Information, but what are we doing as a consumer, which is basically, um, we're not looking at truth, we're looking at sort of feasting and all of that.

Um, not unhealthy, but sort of we're looking the wrong way in other words. And so that tradition might have to sort of change. Potentially.

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e all that stuff is like, so [:

We're just like having this fake festivity, like at the wrong

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Have you, have you ever done,

The 12, holy night's meditation, where you look at the Jofrah images of each astrology Zodiac, and you meditate on them and journal on them. And. Just see how you resonate in interpret. The artistic images.

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you, meditate and you

look at these specific artist's depiction of the Zodiac of each Zodiac.

I loved that tradition. Like I need to do this every year, but I got caught up and I didn't do it last.

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And I think also we're here. As a golden age astrologer, I look at astrology a little different. I think that we're here to sort of dismantle and to delete parts of, um, the Zodiac that are no longer working for people. I think also there's people that are like, oh, well, I like this because of the sodium MACRA because of this.

they kind of accept the bad [:

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Yeah. Keep doing the work. Can we need to all join together in that work? Cause there was, you know, all the Cosmo magazines have all of those, like kind of short blips, like making people think that, oh, I'm a Scorpio, I'm a bad person. Like why? Oh, I'm a Virgo. I'm mean like all of these very negative things.

Uh, there's even some YouTube videos that my daughter was going through and I would hear it and I'd be like right next to her. I'm like, okay. Yes. However, there's so much more complex than that. Like you are not your son signed. Virgos. Don't always have to be mean. Yeah,

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And it's like, yes, that's the lower expression of that sign. And you most likely are going through the, I definitely have a lower expression of areas. Like some fire could just like come through and I'm just like, well, but the, the higher expression, that's what I'm pulling through. That's what I'm working towards.

This, what I'm walking towards is to embody that higher expression of air. As my moon as my will. And so that is leadership. It's wa it's being first, it's the creation, the spark of creation. And so each sign has its higher expression and that's where we're supposed to be going. And that's what we're supposed to be healing in order to embody.

And so was very much the purification of, um, you know, not in a religious sense purification of yourself, like the pier, the purist, you, you can be essentially.

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And I always envisioned that like the purest light within you shine that out as best as he. Yeah.

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Sort of what we're here is to, is to envision his will and then carry that out. And that takes a lot of practice and healing that we have to do to get

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And I'm like, don't worry. Like it's not our time for money. We're going to Matt. We're mastering our craft. And about like, you know, let's say 10 years, hopefully sooner, we're going to see the big impact. Of our mastery come in through that abundance. Absolutely.

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The codes are coming in so we can see that. How do we, how do we love ourselves and not get into this rat race and still have provision and still have resources and still, um, you know, we're on this path, but we're not like starving musician. Yeah, and I think that's coming clearer and clearer. Yeah,

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I know all of you who are listening, love it as well. And you're like eating it up. So I'm going to leave you with just find Natasha on all the socials and links in the show notes. Grab the picture of the podcast and you swipe up, it's there. Make sure that you take a screenshot of this podcast and you just put in your comments like, oh my gosh, I'm a Leo or I'm a Libra or I'm an Aries or whatever, just let us know and put it in your stories and tag us.

I'm at Raymond Scott show and Natasha socials. And thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being here in Atlanta. Thank you

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Oh. And remember, always keep your unique light shining

If you enjoyed this podcast, continue to come back. I share these

Conversations with amazing guests and. updates of the cosmic weather, every Sunday rate and review this podcast. So others can hear this amazing information from the cosmos as well. And I enjoy to see you. Any feedback that you have.

And.

take a screenshot of this podcast. Also tag me at Raven Scott show. And thank you so much. Can't wait to connect with you. .

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About the Podcast

Empath And The Narcissist: Healing Guide from Abuse and PTSD
Empowering empaths in recovery & healing from narcissist abuse and childhood trauma through astrology self care, experts, self development tools, and calm meditations
Grab your FREE How to Defeat the Narcissist Audio Gift http://ravenscott.show ... I am providing empaths, who are feeling hurt and alone in their journey, a community to awaken their spirituality and intuition, with daily support via email, monthly astrological self care newsletter, and healing workshops. Empowering empaths in recovery & healing from narcissist abuse and childhood trauma through spiritual tools, expert guests, energy healing, self development tools, and calm meditations. When it comes to the story of your life, let no one else hold the pen. Healing from PTSD, emotional abuse, havoc on your self worth from the narcissist requires months to years of self care, eft tapping, inner child meditation, self pleasure, self discovery, journaling, and support from professionals and coaches.
This show is energetically educating on narcissism, ridding ourselves from codependent people pleaser tendencies, to find our power and purpose. Topics covered: Childhood trauma, narcissist abuse recovery, mother's who can't love, personal development, self care, childhood trauma, Astrology, tarot card intuitive messages, meditative thoughts, and expert guests sharing different psychology and spiritual healing modalities.
Your host, Raven Scott, is a narcissistic abuse survivor, author of Empath and The Narcissist and also is a Certified Meditation Teacher. Get your FREE Boundaries Workshop http://ravenscott.show/free-workshop
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Raven Scott

Raven Scott is a survivor of an abusive relationship with a narcissist. From people pleaser to kick ass author, podcaster, & mentor, she is a certified meditation teacher and Destiny Coach. She teaches you how to shed people-pleasing patterns one step at a time to find your power & potential through healing so you can kick ass in THIS life. Her focus is to help you tune into your soul’s healing, learning & purpose with intuition, meditations, North Node Medicine & Human Design. Join her in soul-filled podcast community on Facebook. Women Empaths Self Development to Unlock Your Destiny